Don't know how exactly it got started, but yes, I guess a frazzled mind has its own ways of analysing things and delve in to topics, which indeed ,are the things we talk about the most and yet act upon so very less! One of my regular lazy conversations with Jayesh, downloading movies via Youtube, while continuously giggling over some absurd discussions with him.Fifteen minutes past, I am still on phone with him, so what if I had to brush up a few more Quant formulae, it can wait right? A few clothes needed to be washed and I had been postponing it since past two days.So what again, I can do it tomorrow as well right? And there goes my "so what" list.Half an hour( adds up to 1800 seconds), I practically discussed things with Jayesh , which he knows anyways.Lets say, I simply wanted to while away the time.Talking with friends, watching movies, going for an outing, etc- Good sources of entertainment.But sometimes, we just have this tendency to do things, not because we want to do it, or we need to do it, or someone has asked us to do it, but because, we just dont have anything else to do.Sometimes, we are so allergic to learning(process) that we don't give a second thought as to "Is it really worth it?".Excuse me, If i sound extremely dicey and tangential, but they say "tangents hit at 90 degrees.Bang !"
The point I am trying to hit here is how many of us really utilise Time the way it is supposed to be!Do we realise that we get 24 hours in a day, which, if I am not mistaken add up to 1440 minutes! Lets cut sleeping, eating,other essential activities, and alright Dating and fighting with respective Partners as well.Then?If we have a minimum of say 2 hours left, can we say, we utilised it the way it should be!I have been thinking about this for quite sometime now and wanted to write about it,but, I dismissed the thought thinking" Man, where's the time?" Today,when Jayesh "Sir", showered his kind blessings on me and asked me to go through the blogs of "Sankalp", I said why not.Let me anyways stretch it up a bit and not lose on the brownie point of critically examining His writings, for once, let the game be played the other way:) And voila! what do I see, when I go through the posts, one of the topic mentions "TIME MANAGEMENT".. Read it, well, called him up instantly.
Me-" Was going through the stuff , I seriously wanted to write about Time Management, but you know what.."
And before I could complete, he shot back-
"Time nehi mila right?"
(Chuckles)
Lets say we both knew what the issue was, I wont comment about him, coz, its difficult to jot down words for a person whom you think is the most sensible guy you've ever met, but yes, about me, I am definitely not one of those who can achieve a doctorate in managing time!What next, after a bit of hesitation and discussion, I decided that I would indeed find "time", to write about it, which; brings me back to the topic again.There are two parameters however.One, We seem to have no time for much needed activities.Second, we waste precious time in not so needed activities.
Now, coming to condition 1- Everyday, we have a certain set of plans in our mind as to how to go about the things to be done during the day( Excuse me if you don't.As I always say matters are subjected to personal opinions :-)).Deadlines for submission of reports, College Assignments, time for revising up that extra bit to increase your falling scores, time for cleaning up the mess in your cupboard, time to wash your clothes, time to talk with your near ones, time to eat,worse..time to bathe!!! etc etc...Yes, a few go to the extent of behaving like programmed devices.Still, at the end of the day, when they come home, they realise they don't have time for their much needed activities.They don't have time for connecting with themselves, no time for their passions.National level Basket ball players stop playing once they get into their corporate lives.Where's the time for hobbies boss?People, who desperately loved gymming, stop once they get committed into relationships.Whom to handle, office, girlfren , or sleep rite? Well, I have just mentioned two of the multitude of cases. I am sure the list can go on and on and on.Worse, we can still justify as to how we really don't have time!C'mon, give me a break.We have it( remember 24 hours??).What's needed is the effort.The will to say to yourself, how did I manage it earlier.To push the limit of your thought's wavelength and say " let me just find time for that one thing , which I strongly feel about". Its tough, but not impossible.Had it been that difficult, Shashi Tharoor would not have been in Twitter!So , if they can, I guess we can just try and manage about fine too.So, lets grind the muscles( cerebral or physical) and get started!It may be our day to day stuffs, but anything is just worth it.
Now, condition no.2- Spending time on hopeless activities! Yes, fortunately or unfortunately, problems in any country won't stop unless we stop doing this.The scope of this subject matter is large, So I would keep it to its limited version of our simple day to day activities.Be it anywhere, office , college, home,.. this parasite of laziness and pretentiousness has encircled us.When we have time, we don't care about it.We just take it for granted.You are free at home, no work to do, no friends to hang out with, no particular show on television.So, why not take up the book and complete the assignment , which you intend to copy from your classmate the next day? After all, there's nothing wrong in learning something for which you paid your college hefty amountas fees right? At most, you'll gain knowledge, improve concentration, learn to work out stuffs by yourself without copying, next time onwards right?It can't get worse than this right? Parents at office, you at home, entire home is messy.Instead of watching "splitsvilla in MTV"( note- which has repeat telecasts always), you can clean up your home right? At worst, your parents may just feel for a second that you are no more a brat.Don't think there's any harm in it , right?Free class in college, nothing particularly to do, instead of 'always' discussing who ditched whom, one can atleast discuss something worthy right( subjective opinions again).Atleast "Bunk",.. in that case, you'll move around and burn some fats!!!.. I cant comment on office life here, as thats not within my zone currently.May be, will have some views very soon about it as well.Neverthless, just wanted to say, utilise it " in the best possible manner".Lets not just play silly with it.
Finally, I can say Jayesh and to myself, I did find "time " for writing a bit about "time"
P.S- What a time!!! Lol :-)
Monday, December 21, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
SNAP day!
Well, done with SNAP finally. What a day! Test went well,investment done, hoping for good returns. Now, coming back to the day again, I never knew i would get so many surprises in a day itself.As I was scanning through the board,amidst many students, for my alloted room,saw someone wearing specs staring at me from a corner.For a second, I thought i knew him.But then , just dismissed the fact.Reached early, so i still had time. Was seriously missing Jayesh Sir.Writing tests without him is so boring.We literally had the same centres for all the tests last year, other than CAT.And this year, he was there at SIBM Bangalore waiting alone for the test to begin, like I was waiting at Handique college in Guwahati.Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted by someone.
"Dipa right?"
I turned back to see whose voice it was.Yep, I was correct.I knew that guy who was staring at me.Somehow, dont forget faces easily.
Me-"ya..? "
"Recognised me ?"
Me-"I remember your face, but I cant recall your name . Sorry"( I didnt even recall till then, how I know him)
"No problem, we hardly spoke .So its ok. Lots of other guys from SSA are also here"
Oh yes! Now i remember. SSA...!! He was one of those guys who had the correct answers for everything in class. But so humble and polite.Suddenly, I remembered everything. Vice -princi appreciating him, his girl fren , both of them were like inseperable.
Me-"Oh yea! so sorry"
"I said its ok, we hardly interacted (smile).Let me call the other guys as well."
Now, this was embarassing! why? People knowing me since SSA days, knew how limited my conversations were with guys.Lets say I can count how many guys i ever spoke with.In a batch of 300 students,and considering there were some 150 guys, I can say i interacted with some 4 of them. Yes! Dont ask reasons.And now, they come here to talk with me!!A gang of 6 people approached, 5 of them being guys and a girl.I remembered the girl.Guys were all aliens to me.
After exchanging pleasantries, and discussions on varied topics( they discussing and me sitting quietly), we were asked to get into our rooms.While climbing the stairs, GUY no. 1 asked" You still like that ha? Never talk much!"
Me-"Arey na. I just didnt know what to say then. "
" (smile) Nope, you were always like this. I remember you spoke only with Tausif and Biswadeep.With girls too, you were selective "
Me-" you remember too much, dont you (smile)?"
(smile)
We had the same room.So , got in, test started a few mins. later.
Now, let me say this.I love my state.But that definitely doesn't imply I try and hide its drawbacks.Somehow, I feel , we have a long way to go as far as conducting and managing exams are concerned. I felt this when I wrote PMT three years back , I felt it when I wrote my 10th board exams, I felt it when my brother wrote his board exams last year, When I wrote CAT this year in AEC, and yes, today again!May be I feel more strongly about it, as I had an amazing experience of all forms of test writing , throughout my stay in Bangalore.Even Christ college students conducted test in a far professional manner than this HANDIQUE teachers.Firstly, some teachers since ages here, dont understand a simple fact that a classroom where a National Level Aptitude Test is going on, is definitely not a hang out joint!You can discuss about your new sweaters and shopping escapades out of this class.Secondly, You have a taste for tea, good enough, you are hungry and have an appetite to eat, cool again, you want to eat it then !, go ahead, we dont bother.But, you keep shouting at the top of your voice for Samosas not once , twice, forgot how many times!... Are we in some canteen???? Thirdly, "CELL PHONES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SWITCHED OFF DURING EXAMS" . We have a tendency to be a bit more connected.Finally, you DONT GIVE EXTRA TIME TO ANY STUDENT IN ENTRANCE EXAMS!!! I understand, the girl is from your college and you like her, but you need to know, the very protocol is no unfair means, it was unjust.This is something which unfortunately, Me and my bro both have experienced.Board exams, teachers circulated answer sheets to favourite students, students got up from their place and sat with frens... never there was a single complaint from students and neither from teachers.So, we are still stuck there.Nothing has changed, and it wont unless we speak up.There is this problem with human beings, most of us dont have a will to fight back.We dont want change, why take the pain right?Why stand up and face whats right?Why take responsibility for your actions? Why .....?
Like it or hate it, I am definitely not one of those who "always" say " Yaar chalta hai".There is a difference between being cool and being pure stupid and blind! I didn say anything to the lady profs when they were busy discussing their newly bought stuffs, though they were right infront of me, as I was alloted the first bench.Didn say anything, when they were busy having their kitty party, go on, I am hardly hungry. Mostly, coz , what's important is not to lose your cool during these tests. You may raise your voice, but most of the time, it just diverts your mind and breaks the composure.So, I just avoided it.Of late , I enjoy, when women discuss stuffs, surprisingly We can stretch any x topic to y topic .But, what I couldnt tolerate is when the bell rang indicating "time over". I stopped.So did many, but this girl behind me didnt.The teacher collected the OMR sheets of the whole class, came back to her and was still benovolently giving away 5 more mins. to that student. Yes, not only me, all other students started whispering as to what the hell was happening!.But, as expected no one spoke.5 mins! and I didnt speak to.Dunno what was I thinking! May be I was thinking to act " cool " or not.I decided I won't.
" Mam, you collecting the paper from her now ?"
Now, the teacher's audacity-" Meaning?"
Me- " Meaning's simple. Lets say 20 other students are watching you now giving away extra time to your student and we are certainly not happy.Do I need to say more?"
Another student( dunno who he was)- " You are a teacher, and you behave like this!"
Some more-" Free mein paper kharida kya humne, we paid the same application fees!"
And a few more-" Bhai log, HOD kaun hai is college ka?"
Lol! The lady was definitely petrified.The student too.Though she gave me dirty stares, but yeah, she herself submitted the sheet.What was supposed to be a simple entrance test, ended up being such a havoc. This was the reason, why I mentioned Bangalore earlier.Last year , when i was a final year student, my supposedly SNAP invigilator was a student one year senior to me( 1st year MBA). And still, no issues absolutely.
Starting from Education, to infrastructure , to public facilities, to ethics, we have taken everything lightly.I know, there are lots of issues, lots of injustice, So, i Would not better talk about it, as I feel I cant comment on a topic unless I have full information about it.But things like these, conducting a simple test, where all teachers need to do is just distribute OMR sheets , sign and collect it back..Why complicate stuffs like this!.Why cant we for once show, that we too can do it.Its easy to say, I know, but is it that difficult.? SEBA( Secondary education board of Assam ) went the CBSE way.Good, 'twas high time.But point is how much your plans were really implemented.LAB expirements have been made compulsory now in 9th std by SEBA.A weightage of, if i am not wrong, 10 pc is assigned. But where are the teachers? Power point presentations made compulsory, but what about those schools which dont even have a roof! There is one such school, near my house, run by an organisation. Mid day meal schemes.., honestly I was once shocked when i heard a teacher was discussing with another on how to effectively use the money given for feeding these children for their own benefits, Lord, felt like they were taking it as their first ever joint business venture.What could I say? Explain them? They would have probably hooshed me! I wonder sometimes, what would Gandhiji think if he were alive today!
Well, can go on, but it has to stop right? I just wanna say- Rise up people before its too late!
As Rabindranath Tagore once said-
" Where the mind is without fear, and the head is held high
......................
..................
In to that heaven of freedom my father, let my country men awake."
Remains an all time favourite. :-)
Oh , btw, as the test ended, and we all came out,
Yes we indeed complained to the HOD , much to our knowledge, that nothing will happen
And the guy( remember THE FIRST SSA GUY) told me-" And I thought you dont speak much"
Me- (smile) There's lot more to me!
All said and done, meeting one of my closest frens tomorrow, So, i flush it out!
P.S- Good Night everyone.:)
"Dipa right?"
I turned back to see whose voice it was.Yep, I was correct.I knew that guy who was staring at me.Somehow, dont forget faces easily.
Me-"ya..? "
"Recognised me ?"
Me-"I remember your face, but I cant recall your name . Sorry"( I didnt even recall till then, how I know him)
"No problem, we hardly spoke .So its ok. Lots of other guys from SSA are also here"
Oh yes! Now i remember. SSA...!! He was one of those guys who had the correct answers for everything in class. But so humble and polite.Suddenly, I remembered everything. Vice -princi appreciating him, his girl fren , both of them were like inseperable.
Me-"Oh yea! so sorry"
"I said its ok, we hardly interacted (smile).Let me call the other guys as well."
Now, this was embarassing! why? People knowing me since SSA days, knew how limited my conversations were with guys.Lets say I can count how many guys i ever spoke with.In a batch of 300 students,and considering there were some 150 guys, I can say i interacted with some 4 of them. Yes! Dont ask reasons.And now, they come here to talk with me!!A gang of 6 people approached, 5 of them being guys and a girl.I remembered the girl.Guys were all aliens to me.
After exchanging pleasantries, and discussions on varied topics( they discussing and me sitting quietly), we were asked to get into our rooms.While climbing the stairs, GUY no. 1 asked" You still like that ha? Never talk much!"
Me-"Arey na. I just didnt know what to say then. "
" (smile) Nope, you were always like this. I remember you spoke only with Tausif and Biswadeep.With girls too, you were selective "
Me-" you remember too much, dont you (smile)?"
(smile)
We had the same room.So , got in, test started a few mins. later.
Now, let me say this.I love my state.But that definitely doesn't imply I try and hide its drawbacks.Somehow, I feel , we have a long way to go as far as conducting and managing exams are concerned. I felt this when I wrote PMT three years back , I felt it when I wrote my 10th board exams, I felt it when my brother wrote his board exams last year, When I wrote CAT this year in AEC, and yes, today again!May be I feel more strongly about it, as I had an amazing experience of all forms of test writing , throughout my stay in Bangalore.Even Christ college students conducted test in a far professional manner than this HANDIQUE teachers.Firstly, some teachers since ages here, dont understand a simple fact that a classroom where a National Level Aptitude Test is going on, is definitely not a hang out joint!You can discuss about your new sweaters and shopping escapades out of this class.Secondly, You have a taste for tea, good enough, you are hungry and have an appetite to eat, cool again, you want to eat it then !, go ahead, we dont bother.But, you keep shouting at the top of your voice for Samosas not once , twice, forgot how many times!... Are we in some canteen???? Thirdly, "CELL PHONES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SWITCHED OFF DURING EXAMS" . We have a tendency to be a bit more connected.Finally, you DONT GIVE EXTRA TIME TO ANY STUDENT IN ENTRANCE EXAMS!!! I understand, the girl is from your college and you like her, but you need to know, the very protocol is no unfair means, it was unjust.This is something which unfortunately, Me and my bro both have experienced.Board exams, teachers circulated answer sheets to favourite students, students got up from their place and sat with frens... never there was a single complaint from students and neither from teachers.So, we are still stuck there.Nothing has changed, and it wont unless we speak up.There is this problem with human beings, most of us dont have a will to fight back.We dont want change, why take the pain right?Why stand up and face whats right?Why take responsibility for your actions? Why .....?
Like it or hate it, I am definitely not one of those who "always" say " Yaar chalta hai".There is a difference between being cool and being pure stupid and blind! I didn say anything to the lady profs when they were busy discussing their newly bought stuffs, though they were right infront of me, as I was alloted the first bench.Didn say anything, when they were busy having their kitty party, go on, I am hardly hungry. Mostly, coz , what's important is not to lose your cool during these tests. You may raise your voice, but most of the time, it just diverts your mind and breaks the composure.So, I just avoided it.Of late , I enjoy, when women discuss stuffs, surprisingly We can stretch any x topic to y topic .But, what I couldnt tolerate is when the bell rang indicating "time over". I stopped.So did many, but this girl behind me didnt.The teacher collected the OMR sheets of the whole class, came back to her and was still benovolently giving away 5 more mins. to that student. Yes, not only me, all other students started whispering as to what the hell was happening!.But, as expected no one spoke.5 mins! and I didnt speak to.Dunno what was I thinking! May be I was thinking to act " cool " or not.I decided I won't.
" Mam, you collecting the paper from her now ?"
Now, the teacher's audacity-" Meaning?"
Me- " Meaning's simple. Lets say 20 other students are watching you now giving away extra time to your student and we are certainly not happy.Do I need to say more?"
Another student( dunno who he was)- " You are a teacher, and you behave like this!"
Some more-" Free mein paper kharida kya humne, we paid the same application fees!"
And a few more-" Bhai log, HOD kaun hai is college ka?"
Lol! The lady was definitely petrified.The student too.Though she gave me dirty stares, but yeah, she herself submitted the sheet.What was supposed to be a simple entrance test, ended up being such a havoc. This was the reason, why I mentioned Bangalore earlier.Last year , when i was a final year student, my supposedly SNAP invigilator was a student one year senior to me( 1st year MBA). And still, no issues absolutely.
Starting from Education, to infrastructure , to public facilities, to ethics, we have taken everything lightly.I know, there are lots of issues, lots of injustice, So, i Would not better talk about it, as I feel I cant comment on a topic unless I have full information about it.But things like these, conducting a simple test, where all teachers need to do is just distribute OMR sheets , sign and collect it back..Why complicate stuffs like this!.Why cant we for once show, that we too can do it.Its easy to say, I know, but is it that difficult.? SEBA( Secondary education board of Assam ) went the CBSE way.Good, 'twas high time.But point is how much your plans were really implemented.LAB expirements have been made compulsory now in 9th std by SEBA.A weightage of, if i am not wrong, 10 pc is assigned. But where are the teachers? Power point presentations made compulsory, but what about those schools which dont even have a roof! There is one such school, near my house, run by an organisation. Mid day meal schemes.., honestly I was once shocked when i heard a teacher was discussing with another on how to effectively use the money given for feeding these children for their own benefits, Lord, felt like they were taking it as their first ever joint business venture.What could I say? Explain them? They would have probably hooshed me! I wonder sometimes, what would Gandhiji think if he were alive today!
Well, can go on, but it has to stop right? I just wanna say- Rise up people before its too late!
As Rabindranath Tagore once said-
" Where the mind is without fear, and the head is held high
......................
..................
In to that heaven of freedom my father, let my country men awake."
Remains an all time favourite. :-)
Oh , btw, as the test ended, and we all came out,
Yes we indeed complained to the HOD , much to our knowledge, that nothing will happen
And the guy( remember THE FIRST SSA GUY) told me-" And I thought you dont speak much"
Me- (smile) There's lot more to me!
All said and done, meeting one of my closest frens tomorrow, So, i flush it out!
P.S- Good Night everyone.:)
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Love after all matters!! :)
Now, before you raise those plugged( or unplugged for that matter) eyebrows, lemme just clear up.Nope, I am not in love. No, where close. Was a hectic day, had two options- One, to watch a movie. Second, to watch a good movie.I chose the second.As expected, watching movie, while am at home, is always a joint activity( me and bro).Yes, somehow he cant let me have those solitary blissful moments.So, going by the protocol, he laid down many options(yes he, not we).After ample discussions( shoutings, screaming from mum), we finally settled for " A WALK TO REMEMBER " again( yep, I won, whose laptop is it anyways?)...As expected , bro made faces, but never mind, there was nothing great going on TV.so....he had no choices!..Anyways coming back to the movie, well, ...one of my favourites, but hardly a movie to sit and enjoy with your bro! For the first time tonite, we both agreed on this point.:-P..Sigh!, coming back again...what a movie....Awwwwww....makes me always believe in what they say "Dont fall but rise in love"..makes me also feel , that someday, somewhere, He'll come .:)..There were times, when i completely lost faith in love, when i thought its just that chemical reaction which causes a fizz and before you realise, its gone.No more love,hence no love story.And there are times(like these ), when i feel "shut up silly, the real feeling awaits!"..A good movie,yes emotional though, makes you cry( irrespective of boy or girl), if anyone has been slightly able to gauge how it feels to lose the special someone, would vouch for the movie! After finishing it, i decided to catch up with my best fren over the phone.Well, we chat everyday, but listening to his mere voice, makes me come alive!Gues, he was expecting my call
"I was waiting for your call"
Me-"Eh? how come bhai?"
"Hehe, Who else will you call after watching a movie like that.Understood the moment when you messaged"
Me-"Rite!!! boyfren hota toh use call karti na, for now you have to bear"
"You know what, even i just saw music and lyrics, (chuckles)"
Me-"Loser! i thought you had presentation tomorrow"
"Oh yea? gues u have snap on sunday"
Another round of laughter followed
"You know what, Drew Barrymore is so..."
Me-(smile)
" ok, dont wanna sound desperate , but yeah.. x break ups but still i am so hopeful about love"
Me-"haha, may be you are yet to understand , experience, feel that love which you really crave for..chill...it'll happen..."
"Do you crave?"
Me-"generally ,..no...i just need time for myself now...but yea..wen i see these movies..grrrr"
"WHATS the feeling?"
Me-" uhm.... dunno... may be just take a walk , hand in hand, may be get wet in the rain together, may be he teaching me to cook, considering what a terrible cook i am,..may be watching a romantic movie together( definitely not in cinema hall), may be just listening him talk, may be just watching him smile, may be just play with his hair, may be just kiss his eyes when he's asleep, or may be just his mere presence around, that he's there..."
"You know sth?"
Me-"what?"
"Nothing...(smile)..just that even i never thought so much.. I have always considered you to be a die hard romantic, but you are insane sis"
Me-"Nah, nothing insane.I am sure all girls think like that"
Mum calls for dinner..
Me-"gtg bhai"
" Night! till then bhaiyya aal izz wellll"
Me(smile)
But how could the night end! The discussion left me thinking about that certain unknown someone who God knows is hiding where!, prob'ly ..dating someone else:-P or, worse , divorced(aarghhh), or may be just like me writing some blog about me, thinking about me, who knows :)!!...(which also brings me to the fact that he might be reading this blog as well :-P)
Though tough to admit, but yeah , I know why my frens say I am insane .They think its the guys job to do things and pamper their girls.I disagree happily.I mean, yes, i would definitely pamper my guy and yes (again) i am a girl too.!Now, that doesnt mean I DONT wanna feel like a princess! Thats something which is every girl's priority in a relationship, trust me :-P..It was mum and dad earlier in childhood and when we find that special someone, its them! we want all the attention.If you ask me, well, hell yes man!, i am one of those possessive sorts( no no, i dont stalk or record phone calls), but when its me, it has to be only me....sigh!!!( where are you man!!!!)Many people asked me " How should your ideal partner be like? traits and stuff.." This is something, to which I have been never able to find a perfect answer.I mean, yeah, Can say i want him to have a head of his own ,and shouldnt be blind( oh yes, i want him to see me ;-))..other than that,I really dunno..
If I say, I want him to love me like crazy, well thats something implied , isnt it?If i say, there should be compatibility, well, how the hell i would be with him anyways if we arent compatible?
If i say......nah!...nothing
Lets say I want a guy who may not be a hunk, but his mere presence makes me go weak in knees, butterflies in stomach, and i feel like a stupid teenager even at whatever age I am.Lets say, I yearn for that guy, for whom i cross miles for just one glance, and yet when he asks, I say " nah, piece of cake".Lets say, I search the guy, who may not have the sexiest voice ever, but his words just attract me like a pole to a magnet. A guy , for whose one smile, I am ready to sing in public( omg! dont ask...corporation vans are already out to catch me).Someone, for whom I can be awake for X hours at a stretch and yet not forget to "happily" say i love him before ending up a five- min conversation.Someone, who when plays with my hair, I feel there wasn't any problem ever.Someone , who when puts his arms around me, I feel I am the most protected person on earth ( its ok if he has no packs at all).Someone, for whom, I feel i can dance all night( yea, only he gets the permit ;)).Someone, whom I run to with all my news, even if he has scolded me the other day.Someone, whom all i ask is , just a hug, after a week long no contact fight! Someone for whom i feel, i really need to cook good today.Someone who i feel has the same spark in his eyes, when he sees me in morning without make up and when he sees me in evening with full on make up.(well, he has to, coz compac, kohl and gloss..thats all that can work for me, unless i am seriously in a mood to paint!!)..Someone, who can hold my hand and make me bunk a lecture of that prof who i think is seriously sexy;).Someone, whose one touch , makes me shamelessly feel, hold me again(:-P)Someone, who finds me fab no matter how much weight i put on( ok , i am very serious about this).Someone, who can notice that tiny mole near my neck, (thats hardly seen, unless of course my top is off shoulder) and just smile when i try and hide it.Someone, who can make me see the sickest sci-fi movies ever and yet say lovingly "it was all for you" after i watch it.Someone, who definitely doesnt ask me to choose between him and Wentworth Miller, but yet when he does, i say he's hotter and i mean it.Someone who i feel is not bothered about my dark circles, but worried about my sleepless nights.Someone, who i feel, swears secretly , to kill all those guys who have the capacity to make me laugh( yea, there should be some drama..cmon!!)..Someone who will walk the rain happily with me.Someone whose eyes will speak, he wants me everytime we are alone( note- i mean love not lust!!!)...Someone, who i feel was just staring at my eyes, when i was busy explaining him some economic theory. Someone, who will come and just plant a kiss on my forehead, when am all panicked, coz thats the time i really need it.Someone, who makes me go insane deciding on what to wear, when he first asks me out!, and still look with those amazing eyes which communicate, "you look gorgeous".Someone, who i feel has continuously listened to all nonsense i speak and when am done taps my head and says "you talk a lot, but i love it :)" ( fortunately or unfortunately,yea, i talk a lot :().Someone,who wipes the corner of my lips, when i mess it up while eating hot choc. fudge.Someone, who just makes me wink at him in the middle of a life and death seminar or class( provided we are together then). Someone, who chooses to help an old lady cross the road, rather than me, when we both stuck up, but still makes me feel wow!Someone, who lets me sleep on his chest, when i need a good night sleep.........Someone, who makes me say, "I think Ma will love him :)"
Sigh!!! so many parameters, isn't it?...Lol!, they aren't even half!!!
:-) well , they are just feelings, not characteristics ..and thats why i say " someone who makes me......"
And when i start feeling any of these, or all of these, I would indeed look up and say " I am in love :-)" and i know, someday, sometime it will.
Till then, as i say...waiting for the stars to align!:-)
Wherever you are, whoever you are, my unknown someone..tonnes of love awaits!! :)..
P.S- its late and i need to sleep.love def doesnt imply torture!!
"I was waiting for your call"
Me-"Eh? how come bhai?"
"Hehe, Who else will you call after watching a movie like that.Understood the moment when you messaged"
Me-"Rite!!! boyfren hota toh use call karti na, for now you have to bear"
"You know what, even i just saw music and lyrics, (chuckles)"
Me-"Loser! i thought you had presentation tomorrow"
"Oh yea? gues u have snap on sunday"
Another round of laughter followed
"You know what, Drew Barrymore is so..."
Me-(smile)
" ok, dont wanna sound desperate , but yeah.. x break ups but still i am so hopeful about love"
Me-"haha, may be you are yet to understand , experience, feel that love which you really crave for..chill...it'll happen..."
"Do you crave?"
Me-"generally ,..no...i just need time for myself now...but yea..wen i see these movies..grrrr"
"WHATS the feeling?"
Me-" uhm.... dunno... may be just take a walk , hand in hand, may be get wet in the rain together, may be he teaching me to cook, considering what a terrible cook i am,..may be watching a romantic movie together( definitely not in cinema hall), may be just listening him talk, may be just watching him smile, may be just play with his hair, may be just kiss his eyes when he's asleep, or may be just his mere presence around, that he's there..."
"You know sth?"
Me-"what?"
"Nothing...(smile)..just that even i never thought so much.. I have always considered you to be a die hard romantic, but you are insane sis"
Me-"Nah, nothing insane.I am sure all girls think like that"
Mum calls for dinner..
Me-"gtg bhai"
" Night! till then bhaiyya aal izz wellll"
Me(smile)
But how could the night end! The discussion left me thinking about that certain unknown someone who God knows is hiding where!, prob'ly ..dating someone else:-P or, worse , divorced(aarghhh), or may be just like me writing some blog about me, thinking about me, who knows :)!!...(which also brings me to the fact that he might be reading this blog as well :-P)
Though tough to admit, but yeah , I know why my frens say I am insane .They think its the guys job to do things and pamper their girls.I disagree happily.I mean, yes, i would definitely pamper my guy and yes (again) i am a girl too.!Now, that doesnt mean I DONT wanna feel like a princess! Thats something which is every girl's priority in a relationship, trust me :-P..It was mum and dad earlier in childhood and when we find that special someone, its them! we want all the attention.If you ask me, well, hell yes man!, i am one of those possessive sorts( no no, i dont stalk or record phone calls), but when its me, it has to be only me....sigh!!!( where are you man!!!!)Many people asked me " How should your ideal partner be like? traits and stuff.." This is something, to which I have been never able to find a perfect answer.I mean, yeah, Can say i want him to have a head of his own ,and shouldnt be blind( oh yes, i want him to see me ;-))..other than that,I really dunno..
If I say, I want him to love me like crazy, well thats something implied , isnt it?If i say, there should be compatibility, well, how the hell i would be with him anyways if we arent compatible?
If i say......nah!...nothing
Lets say I want a guy who may not be a hunk, but his mere presence makes me go weak in knees, butterflies in stomach, and i feel like a stupid teenager even at whatever age I am.Lets say, I yearn for that guy, for whom i cross miles for just one glance, and yet when he asks, I say " nah, piece of cake".Lets say, I search the guy, who may not have the sexiest voice ever, but his words just attract me like a pole to a magnet. A guy , for whose one smile, I am ready to sing in public( omg! dont ask...corporation vans are already out to catch me).Someone, for whom I can be awake for X hours at a stretch and yet not forget to "happily" say i love him before ending up a five- min conversation.Someone, who when plays with my hair, I feel there wasn't any problem ever.Someone , who when puts his arms around me, I feel I am the most protected person on earth ( its ok if he has no packs at all).Someone, for whom, I feel i can dance all night( yea, only he gets the permit ;)).Someone, whom I run to with all my news, even if he has scolded me the other day.Someone, whom all i ask is , just a hug, after a week long no contact fight! Someone for whom i feel, i really need to cook good today.Someone who i feel has the same spark in his eyes, when he sees me in morning without make up and when he sees me in evening with full on make up.(well, he has to, coz compac, kohl and gloss..thats all that can work for me, unless i am seriously in a mood to paint!!)..Someone, who can hold my hand and make me bunk a lecture of that prof who i think is seriously sexy;).Someone, whose one touch , makes me shamelessly feel, hold me again(:-P)Someone, who finds me fab no matter how much weight i put on( ok , i am very serious about this).Someone, who can notice that tiny mole near my neck, (thats hardly seen, unless of course my top is off shoulder) and just smile when i try and hide it.Someone, who can make me see the sickest sci-fi movies ever and yet say lovingly "it was all for you" after i watch it.Someone, who definitely doesnt ask me to choose between him and Wentworth Miller, but yet when he does, i say he's hotter and i mean it.Someone who i feel is not bothered about my dark circles, but worried about my sleepless nights.Someone, who i feel, swears secretly , to kill all those guys who have the capacity to make me laugh( yea, there should be some drama..cmon!!)..Someone who will walk the rain happily with me.Someone whose eyes will speak, he wants me everytime we are alone( note- i mean love not lust!!!)...Someone, who i feel was just staring at my eyes, when i was busy explaining him some economic theory. Someone, who will come and just plant a kiss on my forehead, when am all panicked, coz thats the time i really need it.Someone, who makes me go insane deciding on what to wear, when he first asks me out!, and still look with those amazing eyes which communicate, "you look gorgeous".Someone, who i feel has continuously listened to all nonsense i speak and when am done taps my head and says "you talk a lot, but i love it :)" ( fortunately or unfortunately,yea, i talk a lot :().Someone,who wipes the corner of my lips, when i mess it up while eating hot choc. fudge.Someone, who just makes me wink at him in the middle of a life and death seminar or class( provided we are together then). Someone, who chooses to help an old lady cross the road, rather than me, when we both stuck up, but still makes me feel wow!Someone, who lets me sleep on his chest, when i need a good night sleep.........Someone, who makes me say, "I think Ma will love him :)"
Sigh!!! so many parameters, isn't it?...Lol!, they aren't even half!!!
:-) well , they are just feelings, not characteristics ..and thats why i say " someone who makes me......"
And when i start feeling any of these, or all of these, I would indeed look up and say " I am in love :-)" and i know, someday, sometime it will.
Till then, as i say...waiting for the stars to align!:-)
Wherever you are, whoever you are, my unknown someone..tonnes of love awaits!! :)..
P.S- its late and i need to sleep.love def doesnt imply torture!!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
For the most precious gift, my mum ever gave me :-)
"This is for all those frens of mine who are blessed with wonderful siblings :-)"
"Tomaar ki chaai ? bhai na bon", asked my mum 16 years back, weaving a sweater, for the new member to be joining us soon.I joyfully jumped on my dad's lap and screamed" bhaaaiii".." amaar homework korbe"..:-).....Since then, till now, I have managed well enough to make him do my homeworks( read- the practical note books are literally his efforts)!..:-)
Whoever has got a sibling,will agree with me to the point that come what may, its difficult to live without them.You may fight at times, but also wont hesitate to happily pamper them with the best possible things ever:-)!
Anyways, the advent of this blog is the outcome of a brainstorming session with my kid brother.Its strange , but yeah, they grow up very soon.As they say, " kal ki hi baat thi", his questions were limited to " why cant you play with me for a longer time?"., " why do i need to drink horlicks?", " what should i opt-adv. maths or comp. science?". ," why do you need to wax?"( yes, he did ask that once)...
.And now, he baffles my brain with questions on more interesting topics, viz., "what exactly should i wear on my date?", "Don't you think Zoanna is hot?", " Man, saw your batchmate today ...shes nice!".."CHECK out the SUV man, its sexier than keira knightley! " " I would give you an eight on 10 if you wear that gown!" "Dibhai, please white kurta taa por, it makes you look gorgeous",.."You ok, if your boyfren is not a virgin!!!!","Dont say you better than me at maths!". ..."Dont mind me saying it, but dibhai, you gotta be kidding if you say this is your boyfren..You definitely deserve better!!"...:-)).....YES, my brother indeed has many questions..Sometimes, I just choose to ignore him.He gets off the track. Media i say, has wonderfully enlightened everyone.I mean , I have been posed with all these questions, since past three years. I mean, i never bothered to think if i need a virgin guy , when i was his age and look at my brothers audacity and wavelength of thought.Last time accidently caught him and his gang in my room ,discussing about their plight as to how difficult it is to manage studies and their respective gfs( mind you, all of them are exceptionally brilliant, two of them being state toppers)..Anyways their jaws dropped when I accidentally stormed in the room,but after ample sighs and groans they jus managed to give me a smile.My bro was to break the silence."Dibhai, what do you have to say?"...all his frens went "whaaaaaatttt"...Lol, they knew me and saw how I always managed a serious face in public, so probably they thought I WOULD start belting each one of them..i didnt :-)!...Picked my books,opened the door, and just said" study hard guys, girls dont fall for losers:-)"...
When I narrated this incident to my frens,one of them shot back saying" Dip, you shouldnt allow that much freedom to your bro. You should be very strict with him, like the way we are.The more you try and be cool with them, the more they'll start taking you lightly.Teach them discipline, teach them integrity, discuss politics, discuss recession,intellectual stuffs, dont encourage love related discussions, then only you can have a good control over them"...I smiled and asked my kind fren " Do you know your brother smokes?"..He went pale," this is impossible"..I just smiled . He couldnt believe more. Ashamed at his own statement,he asked meekly "How do you know? Rony told you?", I replied" your bro confessed it to ME ..Any idea why he didnt have the courage to come and speak up to you?"...He had no answer. I said " Dear, our younger brothers and sisters constantly seek guidance, for everything, they are like clay , raw and will get the shape the society gives them, so before they get malformed or distorted, save them...Its important to imbibe all cultural and educational values in them, but its also important to let them believe that they have their biggest support at home, that, they dont need to search for their best frens outside their home :-)..its ok if you let it loose sometimes :-)"
Dad passed away when i was just six years old and bro 1 year old.Too early for a decision, but yes, that day I decided i'll always protect my baby bro from all the downs of life.Days passed, and the bond grew stronger. Did all those things, that I could ,to assist Ma, in making him a good human being.Monitoring him in doing homeworks( my homeworks as well;-)), to helping him in deciding electives, to teach him good virtues, ...and lots more..Sometimes, I tell Ma," He's so calm about everything na. Doesn take tension at all.I feel he doesnt have the necessary drive or aggression to push the boundary and discover his talents.On a serious note, I feel how muchever we try, he'll grow up to be a corrupt politician"...Ma smiles and says" The same blood flows in both of you:-) you'll see the signs..wait..:)"..I smiled back, was to see the testimony of that soon.
We were about to catch a train..( me and bro) .We were already late.But had to recharge the balance of our respective cellphones , none of us had balance..I gave him a 100 rupee note and asked to get it done for both of us ..fast..!!!!...He took it , didn return for quite some time, I turned back and saw he came running...Before i could ask, he goes" That loser was taking 1 re extra, had to fight with him to get that back"..I said" well, that 1 re could have cost us our train you know, was that 1 re really important?"...He shot back" TWO THINGS- firstly, Ma toils hard to earn that 1 re, secondly, its not the matter of 1 re, its about ethics, why the hell was he cheating me, i cant tolerate frauds!"...I was mum...INDEED Ma, the same blood flows!!!!:-)))
But sometimes, certain things happen, where I feel ,what exactly went wrong..why he himself chooses the wrong path after my repeated warnings, why he shouts at mum, was my fren correct, should i just be a sister, a strict one on top of that, who basically is behind your ass for whatever thing you do!.....was i good enough in imbibing the right values.., I just wanted to be a guiding hand, coz i knew that as a guy grows in age, he needs a dad like we girls need our mom..Now, since we didnt have our Dad, i just wanted to fill that gap for him!! ...........................With these thoughts in my mind, as we both were crossing the road( coming from hospital), I suddenly realised he wasnt by my side..I turned back and see " He was helping an old lady cross the road"..I smile at myself and say" I MANAGED JUST ABOUT FINE!!!:-)"...
P.S- Love you bro..:)muah!!!
"Tomaar ki chaai ? bhai na bon", asked my mum 16 years back, weaving a sweater, for the new member to be joining us soon.I joyfully jumped on my dad's lap and screamed" bhaaaiii".." amaar homework korbe"..:-).....Since then, till now, I have managed well enough to make him do my homeworks( read- the practical note books are literally his efforts)!..:-)
Whoever has got a sibling,will agree with me to the point that come what may, its difficult to live without them.You may fight at times, but also wont hesitate to happily pamper them with the best possible things ever:-)!
Anyways, the advent of this blog is the outcome of a brainstorming session with my kid brother.Its strange , but yeah, they grow up very soon.As they say, " kal ki hi baat thi", his questions were limited to " why cant you play with me for a longer time?"., " why do i need to drink horlicks?", " what should i opt-adv. maths or comp. science?". ," why do you need to wax?"( yes, he did ask that once)...
.And now, he baffles my brain with questions on more interesting topics, viz., "what exactly should i wear on my date?", "Don't you think Zoanna is hot?", " Man, saw your batchmate today ...shes nice!".."CHECK out the SUV man, its sexier than keira knightley! " " I would give you an eight on 10 if you wear that gown!" "Dibhai, please white kurta taa por, it makes you look gorgeous",.."You ok, if your boyfren is not a virgin!!!!","Dont say you better than me at maths!". ..."Dont mind me saying it, but dibhai, you gotta be kidding if you say this is your boyfren..You definitely deserve better!!"...:-)).....YES, my brother indeed has many questions..Sometimes, I just choose to ignore him.He gets off the track. Media i say, has wonderfully enlightened everyone.I mean , I have been posed with all these questions, since past three years. I mean, i never bothered to think if i need a virgin guy , when i was his age and look at my brothers audacity and wavelength of thought.Last time accidently caught him and his gang in my room ,discussing about their plight as to how difficult it is to manage studies and their respective gfs( mind you, all of them are exceptionally brilliant, two of them being state toppers)..Anyways their jaws dropped when I accidentally stormed in the room,but after ample sighs and groans they jus managed to give me a smile.My bro was to break the silence."Dibhai, what do you have to say?"...all his frens went "whaaaaaatttt"...Lol, they knew me and saw how I always managed a serious face in public, so probably they thought I WOULD start belting each one of them..i didnt :-)!...Picked my books,opened the door, and just said" study hard guys, girls dont fall for losers:-)"...
When I narrated this incident to my frens,one of them shot back saying" Dip, you shouldnt allow that much freedom to your bro. You should be very strict with him, like the way we are.The more you try and be cool with them, the more they'll start taking you lightly.Teach them discipline, teach them integrity, discuss politics, discuss recession,intellectual stuffs, dont encourage love related discussions, then only you can have a good control over them"...I smiled and asked my kind fren " Do you know your brother smokes?"..He went pale," this is impossible"..I just smiled . He couldnt believe more. Ashamed at his own statement,he asked meekly "How do you know? Rony told you?", I replied" your bro confessed it to ME ..Any idea why he didnt have the courage to come and speak up to you?"...He had no answer. I said " Dear, our younger brothers and sisters constantly seek guidance, for everything, they are like clay , raw and will get the shape the society gives them, so before they get malformed or distorted, save them...Its important to imbibe all cultural and educational values in them, but its also important to let them believe that they have their biggest support at home, that, they dont need to search for their best frens outside their home :-)..its ok if you let it loose sometimes :-)"
Dad passed away when i was just six years old and bro 1 year old.Too early for a decision, but yes, that day I decided i'll always protect my baby bro from all the downs of life.Days passed, and the bond grew stronger. Did all those things, that I could ,to assist Ma, in making him a good human being.Monitoring him in doing homeworks( my homeworks as well;-)), to helping him in deciding electives, to teach him good virtues, ...and lots more..Sometimes, I tell Ma," He's so calm about everything na. Doesn take tension at all.I feel he doesnt have the necessary drive or aggression to push the boundary and discover his talents.On a serious note, I feel how muchever we try, he'll grow up to be a corrupt politician"...Ma smiles and says" The same blood flows in both of you:-) you'll see the signs..wait..:)"..I smiled back, was to see the testimony of that soon.
We were about to catch a train..( me and bro) .We were already late.But had to recharge the balance of our respective cellphones , none of us had balance..I gave him a 100 rupee note and asked to get it done for both of us ..fast..!!!!...He took it , didn return for quite some time, I turned back and saw he came running...Before i could ask, he goes" That loser was taking 1 re extra, had to fight with him to get that back"..I said" well, that 1 re could have cost us our train you know, was that 1 re really important?"...He shot back" TWO THINGS- firstly, Ma toils hard to earn that 1 re, secondly, its not the matter of 1 re, its about ethics, why the hell was he cheating me, i cant tolerate frauds!"...I was mum...INDEED Ma, the same blood flows!!!!:-)))
But sometimes, certain things happen, where I feel ,what exactly went wrong..why he himself chooses the wrong path after my repeated warnings, why he shouts at mum, was my fren correct, should i just be a sister, a strict one on top of that, who basically is behind your ass for whatever thing you do!.....was i good enough in imbibing the right values.., I just wanted to be a guiding hand, coz i knew that as a guy grows in age, he needs a dad like we girls need our mom..Now, since we didnt have our Dad, i just wanted to fill that gap for him!! ...........................With these thoughts in my mind, as we both were crossing the road( coming from hospital), I suddenly realised he wasnt by my side..I turned back and see " He was helping an old lady cross the road"..I smile at myself and say" I MANAGED JUST ABOUT FINE!!!:-)"...
P.S- Love you bro..:)muah!!!
Monday, December 7, 2009
My tryst with the biggg "meow"
Now,now, if you are lucky enough like me to be pestered around with friends who love absolutely any junk you scribble, then you would understand how difficult it is to ward off these lovable " pests" from your life..worse, ignore their constant naggings!!..However, must say, life is quite useless without them :-)).they cheer you up when you ,as well as they know ,you screwed up bigg time.:-))...cheers to you the bonding!!!...
So, now, I am supposed to give a brief account of my "date" with the most loved animal of MBA aspirants..yes, the creature is " CAT"..well, whenever my fellow beings ask me of my experiences on "the" day, i cant resist the utmost urge of jotting down every minute details of the day, preceeding the " judgement day" , and even days beyond that.Studying for 72 hours at a stretch,frantically gulping mountain dew,listening to music at ear shattering voice(obviously with earphones duh!)while scanning the flashcards at hand, the list goes on and on...Most of us,literally shut down all possible ways which is remotely associated with entertainment!!...Reason?..THE GOLDEN GATES OF IIMs..The brand name, the swanky life style, the honour, the uniqueness, everything..makes you inflate with passion.:-). Yes, I am one of those many other students too, who dream of this coveted title....Anyways cutting this fancy imaginations,..yes..I too prepared for this exam..After days of grinding my cerebral muscles, the day came..I was tensed, excited at the same time.Lots of wishes and blessings followed.The centre was "ASSAM ENGINEERING COLLEGE , guwahati". I reached a day before.After having done the required revision, I chose to perk up my confidence by talking with certain " very positive people"...people, who , in their simple ways have always managed to get me going on track....Now, now, whenever you thought that life's going to be exactly the way you want it to be you're so very wrong:-)..why am i saying this?..:-))))
This is to be taken seriously by all my friends and acquaintances.If at all, you choose to give the most exclusive exam of your life, the last person you would like to talk to boost up your morale,is your "ex"...yes, trust me, they screwed up your life before and they know it exactly how to do it once again...!!...Now, dont ask about me, I am divulging no details about it.But yeah, I managed to avoid unnecessary complications....And just when I needed to switch back to fifth gear of positivity,I found someone saying- " You'll do well, coz I've trust in you.."..He's basically no one, hardly know him, but whenever I speak to him, I just feel positive..so , tucking my sweet IIM dreams under my blanket with me, I went off to sleep:-))
Final phase- THE most important one..writing the test!!..Got up , had a light breakfast( as advised by him), reached the test centre bang on time. Finally after necessary checkin process, I was alloted my system.Here, comes the hillarious part. A plump geek sitting next to me, asks me my name, (grrr) didn want to talk, but yeah.." am dipa" .Mr fatso was more interested in my cv than i thought, but what could i do, other than just nod my head..the check in was still in process for other students...wait...wait...wait...oh my god! whats this, " here comes the guy whom i asked the route for AEC".., NEXT TO ME...lol, he was playing football in college field a few mins. back." smart guy;-)"..but nope, no time fr exchanging pleasantries now. ...The more i tried to avoid him, the more he kept staring..Felt like asking him" Dude, you mind rotating your eye balls..you definitely dont excite me more than CAT"..aarghhh...guesS he got the signs!!...Finally test started...sharp at 10...15 mins tutorial, followed by the test...10.15- i click the button" start exam"....voila!!!!...SYSTEM GOES BLANKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!YESSSSS i was the only one with whom this had to happen in the whole lab!..I was calm though , was prepared for technical glitches.Called the procter, he restarted it thrice, nope, no sign of recovery, he then assigned me another computer, now what happened next was ultimate..THAT M!@#$%^&*())(*&^%$#@#$%^& BA!@#$%^&^% told" mam, as you can see nothings happening, i really cant do anything about it, u understand right?" I was on the verge of tears, anger and frustration got better of me and i shot" well i understand only one thing. prometric is supposed to deliver me my test and i am supposed to wrap it in 2 hrs 15 mins, other than that i dont know anything, nor do i wanna know understand anything".. The statement was strong enough to shake up the sick computer..was writin my test in next 3 mins...but surprise awaited me" TIMER SHOWED 2 HRS 5 SECS"..i already lost 15 mins...this can cost me my iim seat, but no time to ponder over it. It was a real test of my patience. started the test, 5 mins past, couldn solve a single english question," english was a cake walk for me"...This is one of those horrid times, when you just lose the flow, and the devil in you, kicks back the unwanted things to your memory...!!!...everything, absolutely everything nasty comes forth...starting from the first pathetic percentile in CAT , to you kicking colleges, to people criticising you, to the way you almost lost on everything for your "ex" ...yes, that dreadful!!!!....I scanned 5 questions, but nope, i lost the flow!!.:-(((...Decided to close my eyes and take a deep breath...it worked...heard something which changed everything.........." Kitten, somehow something will happen and you'll be here , with me".." you'll do it, coz i've trust in you" .." family doesnt need support, family expects you to do good, which you are not thinking of"....and finally , it was my unbiological bro.. satyajit.." arey tui toh zaalim, tui naa parle ke paarbe".....Now, need i say more, 5th gear, swooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnn.....there was no looking back...i did preety well...however , i wish i had got 15 more mins!!...Hope, it doesn cost me my dreams..after all, faith is what we all cling to..:-)))...smiling in adversity..
P.S- OFF I GO FOR OTHER EXAMS:-)))....
So, now, I am supposed to give a brief account of my "date" with the most loved animal of MBA aspirants..yes, the creature is " CAT"..well, whenever my fellow beings ask me of my experiences on "the" day, i cant resist the utmost urge of jotting down every minute details of the day, preceeding the " judgement day" , and even days beyond that.Studying for 72 hours at a stretch,frantically gulping mountain dew,listening to music at ear shattering voice(obviously with earphones duh!)while scanning the flashcards at hand, the list goes on and on...Most of us,literally shut down all possible ways which is remotely associated with entertainment!!...Reason?..THE GOLDEN GATES OF IIMs..The brand name, the swanky life style, the honour, the uniqueness, everything..makes you inflate with passion.:-). Yes, I am one of those many other students too, who dream of this coveted title....Anyways cutting this fancy imaginations,..yes..I too prepared for this exam..After days of grinding my cerebral muscles, the day came..I was tensed, excited at the same time.Lots of wishes and blessings followed.The centre was "ASSAM ENGINEERING COLLEGE , guwahati". I reached a day before.After having done the required revision, I chose to perk up my confidence by talking with certain " very positive people"...people, who , in their simple ways have always managed to get me going on track....Now, now, whenever you thought that life's going to be exactly the way you want it to be you're so very wrong:-)..why am i saying this?..:-))))
This is to be taken seriously by all my friends and acquaintances.If at all, you choose to give the most exclusive exam of your life, the last person you would like to talk to boost up your morale,is your "ex"...yes, trust me, they screwed up your life before and they know it exactly how to do it once again...!!...Now, dont ask about me, I am divulging no details about it.But yeah, I managed to avoid unnecessary complications....And just when I needed to switch back to fifth gear of positivity,I found someone saying- " You'll do well, coz I've trust in you.."..He's basically no one, hardly know him, but whenever I speak to him, I just feel positive..so , tucking my sweet IIM dreams under my blanket with me, I went off to sleep:-))
Final phase- THE most important one..writing the test!!..Got up , had a light breakfast( as advised by him), reached the test centre bang on time. Finally after necessary checkin process, I was alloted my system.Here, comes the hillarious part. A plump geek sitting next to me, asks me my name, (grrr) didn want to talk, but yeah.." am dipa" .Mr fatso was more interested in my cv than i thought, but what could i do, other than just nod my head..the check in was still in process for other students...wait...wait...wait...oh my god! whats this, " here comes the guy whom i asked the route for AEC".., NEXT TO ME...lol, he was playing football in college field a few mins. back." smart guy;-)"..but nope, no time fr exchanging pleasantries now. ...The more i tried to avoid him, the more he kept staring..Felt like asking him" Dude, you mind rotating your eye balls..you definitely dont excite me more than CAT"..aarghhh...guesS he got the signs!!...Finally test started...sharp at 10...15 mins tutorial, followed by the test...10.15- i click the button" start exam"....voila!!!!...SYSTEM GOES BLANKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!YESSSSS i was the only one with whom this had to happen in the whole lab!..I was calm though , was prepared for technical glitches.Called the procter, he restarted it thrice, nope, no sign of recovery, he then assigned me another computer, now what happened next was ultimate..THAT M!@#$%^&*())(*&^%$#@#$%^& BA!@#$%^&^% told" mam, as you can see nothings happening, i really cant do anything about it, u understand right?" I was on the verge of tears, anger and frustration got better of me and i shot" well i understand only one thing. prometric is supposed to deliver me my test and i am supposed to wrap it in 2 hrs 15 mins, other than that i dont know anything, nor do i wanna know understand anything".. The statement was strong enough to shake up the sick computer..was writin my test in next 3 mins...but surprise awaited me" TIMER SHOWED 2 HRS 5 SECS"..i already lost 15 mins...this can cost me my iim seat, but no time to ponder over it. It was a real test of my patience. started the test, 5 mins past, couldn solve a single english question," english was a cake walk for me"...This is one of those horrid times, when you just lose the flow, and the devil in you, kicks back the unwanted things to your memory...!!!...everything, absolutely everything nasty comes forth...starting from the first pathetic percentile in CAT , to you kicking colleges, to people criticising you, to the way you almost lost on everything for your "ex" ...yes, that dreadful!!!!....I scanned 5 questions, but nope, i lost the flow!!.:-(((...Decided to close my eyes and take a deep breath...it worked...heard something which changed everything.........." Kitten, somehow something will happen and you'll be here , with me".." you'll do it, coz i've trust in you" .." family doesnt need support, family expects you to do good, which you are not thinking of"....and finally , it was my unbiological bro.. satyajit.." arey tui toh zaalim, tui naa parle ke paarbe".....Now, need i say more, 5th gear, swooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnn.....there was no looking back...i did preety well...however , i wish i had got 15 more mins!!...Hope, it doesn cost me my dreams..after all, faith is what we all cling to..:-)))...smiling in adversity..
P.S- OFF I GO FOR OTHER EXAMS:-)))....
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Try and control your tongue, if you cant tame your mind!!
Well well,...this is highly unlikely of me to respond to vagaries of human mind, but for you my dear friend, who has absolute beliefs in certain " controversial" issues of life , philosophy and this system in general, i am more than happy to extend to you my knowledge and "counter views" on it.By now, I am sure you must be wagging your toungue out of sheer shock!!..yes it is for you 'D!@#$%^^&*'..... So, coming back to the topic.:-) I would love to "dissect" your views statement by statement.
So, your take- " Good that its happening with general candidates. We SCs and STs have been suffering for upper caste students since time immemorial"..
well, firstly dont ever make this comment public, it may be just treated with sheer mockery.I dont want to get into details , but i guess you have exactly got what i want to say.Mishaps in life, uncertainties, tragedies, even "server crashes" do not have labels of caste and subcaste sticked to it.You of all people do not deserve an atom of power to shoot statements like this. In this context, let me also mention the fact that you aspire to be an MBA.One of the priorities which involves here is " sensibility" , not to forget " sensitivity".Do you have any idea what does an MBA teach you, apart from achieving that six figure pay package??...Let me enlighten you. It teaches you to be a " civilized" human being, a better citizen of this society....I have always believed in one thing, if you want to be a part of a system, you gotta have belief in that system...so you, before uttering junk, should keep that in mind!!!...
Now, secondly,-" UPPER CASTE have been torturing us since ages"...woohoo boss!!!! so much for an exam....Let me clarify you, I Dipa Chakraborty, belong to upper caste, one of the highest of the highest order of Brahmins. By highest order i mean " Bathing thrice a day, praying thrice a day, goes to the extent of selecting time and date of journey according to 'shubho din'...and the like..", but neither me, nor my parents, nor my forefathers or their parents have a track record of what you call torturing the less privilged section of the society!!!...Yes, we have certain notions, but none of it definitely implies suppressing the weak!...You need to understand a simple logic- we make our identity with the work we do, not by marketing our caste or categories:-)
Thirdly, -Get this straight. There are tonnes , infact multitude of talented guys and girls " who are sc , st or obc"...What exactly makes you feel that you can pass off an intelligence certificate by categorising all of them as " less brains"..I have friends who are STs but in IITs with due merit, but i am sure you wont get this point as you are not accustomed with the process and hardwork that goes into placing your butt into THE most prestiguous engineering institutions in the country:-)
Finally, ..:-) you must be thinking why i didn tell you or explain you all these stuffs over the phone..well, frankly speaking, have you ever seen a civilized person barking back at a dog??...As a matter of fact, you needed an open letter..Since, I have been actively involved in certain social activities, I openly accepted the challenge of tying your toungue to a pole..:-)..POINT is..." its not your fault"....Your thought process( brain) happen to suffer from " ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION" ...There is this common attitude among guys of this age( read- our age) to get either of these two elements in your body straight(ERECT)..nevertheless, you ignore the brain!!!...Thought process doesnt excite you, unlike other things....So, being a sensible person i choose to " IGNORE YOU"....Dont feel apologetic now, as i dont entertain these subteleties...MAY KNOWLEDGE PREVAIL UPON YOU..:-)
P.S- " was i rude?..;-)"
So, your take- " Good that its happening with general candidates. We SCs and STs have been suffering for upper caste students since time immemorial"..
well, firstly dont ever make this comment public, it may be just treated with sheer mockery.I dont want to get into details , but i guess you have exactly got what i want to say.Mishaps in life, uncertainties, tragedies, even "server crashes" do not have labels of caste and subcaste sticked to it.You of all people do not deserve an atom of power to shoot statements like this. In this context, let me also mention the fact that you aspire to be an MBA.One of the priorities which involves here is " sensibility" , not to forget " sensitivity".Do you have any idea what does an MBA teach you, apart from achieving that six figure pay package??...Let me enlighten you. It teaches you to be a " civilized" human being, a better citizen of this society....I have always believed in one thing, if you want to be a part of a system, you gotta have belief in that system...so you, before uttering junk, should keep that in mind!!!...
Now, secondly,-" UPPER CASTE have been torturing us since ages"...woohoo boss!!!! so much for an exam....Let me clarify you, I Dipa Chakraborty, belong to upper caste, one of the highest of the highest order of Brahmins. By highest order i mean " Bathing thrice a day, praying thrice a day, goes to the extent of selecting time and date of journey according to 'shubho din'...and the like..", but neither me, nor my parents, nor my forefathers or their parents have a track record of what you call torturing the less privilged section of the society!!!...Yes, we have certain notions, but none of it definitely implies suppressing the weak!...You need to understand a simple logic- we make our identity with the work we do, not by marketing our caste or categories:-)
Thirdly, -Get this straight. There are tonnes , infact multitude of talented guys and girls " who are sc , st or obc"...What exactly makes you feel that you can pass off an intelligence certificate by categorising all of them as " less brains"..I have friends who are STs but in IITs with due merit, but i am sure you wont get this point as you are not accustomed with the process and hardwork that goes into placing your butt into THE most prestiguous engineering institutions in the country:-)
Finally, ..:-) you must be thinking why i didn tell you or explain you all these stuffs over the phone..well, frankly speaking, have you ever seen a civilized person barking back at a dog??...As a matter of fact, you needed an open letter..Since, I have been actively involved in certain social activities, I openly accepted the challenge of tying your toungue to a pole..:-)..POINT is..." its not your fault"....Your thought process( brain) happen to suffer from " ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION" ...There is this common attitude among guys of this age( read- our age) to get either of these two elements in your body straight(ERECT)..nevertheless, you ignore the brain!!!...Thought process doesnt excite you, unlike other things....So, being a sensible person i choose to " IGNORE YOU"....Dont feel apologetic now, as i dont entertain these subteleties...MAY KNOWLEDGE PREVAIL UPON YOU..:-)
P.S- " was i rude?..;-)"
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