Now, before you raise those plugged( or unplugged for that matter) eyebrows, lemme just clear up.Nope, I am not in love. No, where close. Was a hectic day, had two options- One, to watch a movie. Second, to watch a good movie.I chose the second.As expected, watching movie, while am at home, is always a joint activity( me and bro).Yes, somehow he cant let me have those solitary blissful moments.So, going by the protocol, he laid down many options(yes he, not we).After ample discussions( shoutings, screaming from mum), we finally settled for " A WALK TO REMEMBER " again( yep, I won, whose laptop is it anyways?)...As expected , bro made faces, but never mind, there was nothing great going on TV.so....he had no choices!..Anyways coming back to the movie, well, ...one of my favourites, but hardly a movie to sit and enjoy with your bro! For the first time tonite, we both agreed on this point.:-P..Sigh!, coming back again...what a movie....Awwwwww....makes me always believe in what they say "Dont fall but rise in love"..makes me also feel , that someday, somewhere, He'll come .:)..There were times, when i completely lost faith in love, when i thought its just that chemical reaction which causes a fizz and before you realise, its gone.No more love,hence no love story.And there are times(like these ), when i feel "shut up silly, the real feeling awaits!"..A good movie,yes emotional though, makes you cry( irrespective of boy or girl), if anyone has been slightly able to gauge how it feels to lose the special someone, would vouch for the movie! After finishing it, i decided to catch up with my best fren over the phone.Well, we chat everyday, but listening to his mere voice, makes me come alive!Gues, he was expecting my call
"I was waiting for your call"
Me-"Eh? how come bhai?"
"Hehe, Who else will you call after watching a movie like that.Understood the moment when you messaged"
Me-"Rite!!! boyfren hota toh use call karti na, for now you have to bear"
"You know what, even i just saw music and lyrics, (chuckles)"
Me-"Loser! i thought you had presentation tomorrow"
"Oh yea? gues u have snap on sunday"
Another round of laughter followed
"You know what, Drew Barrymore is so..."
" ok, dont wanna sound desperate , but yeah.. x break ups but still i am so hopeful about love"
Me-"haha, may be you are yet to understand , experience, feel that love which you really crave for..chill...it'll happen..."
"Do you crave?"
Me-"generally ,..no...i just need time for myself now...but yea..wen i see these movies..grrrr"
"WHATS the feeling?"
Me-" uhm.... dunno... may be just take a walk , hand in hand, may be get wet in the rain together, may be he teaching me to cook, considering what a terrible cook i am,..may be watching a romantic movie together( definitely not in cinema hall), may be just listening him talk, may be just watching him smile, may be just play with his hair, may be just kiss his eyes when he's asleep, or may be just his mere presence around, that he's there..."
"You know sth?"
"Nothing...(smile)..just that even i never thought so much.. I have always considered you to be a die hard romantic, but you are insane sis"
Me-"Nah, nothing insane.I am sure all girls think like that"
Mum calls for dinner..
" Night! till then bhaiyya aal izz wellll"
But how could the night end! The discussion left me thinking about that certain unknown someone who God knows is hiding where!, prob'ly ..dating someone else:-P or, worse , divorced(aarghhh), or may be just like me writing some blog about me, thinking about me, who knows :)!!...(which also brings me to the fact that he might be reading this blog as well :-P)
Though tough to admit, but yeah , I know why my frens say I am insane .They think its the guys job to do things and pamper their girls.I disagree happily.I mean, yes, i would definitely pamper my guy and yes (again) i am a girl too.!Now, that doesnt mean I DONT wanna feel like a princess! Thats something which is every girl's priority in a relationship, trust me :-P..It was mum and dad earlier in childhood and when we find that special someone, its them! we want all the attention.If you ask me, well, hell yes man!, i am one of those possessive sorts( no no, i dont stalk or record phone calls), but when its me, it has to be only me....sigh!!!( where are you man!!!!)Many people asked me " How should your ideal partner be like? traits and stuff.." This is something, to which I have been never able to find a perfect answer.I mean, yeah, Can say i want him to have a head of his own ,and shouldnt be blind( oh yes, i want him to see me ;-))..other than that,I really dunno..
If I say, I want him to love me like crazy, well thats something implied , isnt it?If i say, there should be compatibility, well, how the hell i would be with him anyways if we arent compatible?
If i say......nah!...nothing
Lets say I want a guy who may not be a hunk, but his mere presence makes me go weak in knees, butterflies in stomach, and i feel like a stupid teenager even at whatever age I am.Lets say, I yearn for that guy, for whom i cross miles for just one glance, and yet when he asks, I say " nah, piece of cake".Lets say, I search the guy, who may not have the sexiest voice ever, but his words just attract me like a pole to a magnet. A guy , for whose one smile, I am ready to sing in public( omg! dont ask...corporation vans are already out to catch me).Someone, for whom I can be awake for X hours at a stretch and yet not forget to "happily" say i love him before ending up a five- min conversation.Someone, who when plays with my hair, I feel there wasn't any problem ever.Someone , who when puts his arms around me, I feel I am the most protected person on earth ( its ok if he has no packs at all).Someone, for whom, I feel i can dance all night( yea, only he gets the permit ;)).Someone, whom I run to with all my news, even if he has scolded me the other day.Someone, whom all i ask is , just a hug, after a week long no contact fight! Someone for whom i feel, i really need to cook good today.Someone who i feel has the same spark in his eyes, when he sees me in morning without make up and when he sees me in evening with full on make up.(well, he has to, coz compac, kohl and gloss..thats all that can work for me, unless i am seriously in a mood to paint!!)..Someone, who can hold my hand and make me bunk a lecture of that prof who i think is seriously sexy;).Someone, whose one touch , makes me shamelessly feel, hold me again(:-P)Someone, who finds me fab no matter how much weight i put on( ok , i am very serious about this).Someone, who can notice that tiny mole near my neck, (thats hardly seen, unless of course my top is off shoulder) and just smile when i try and hide it.Someone, who can make me see the sickest sci-fi movies ever and yet say lovingly "it was all for you" after i watch it.Someone, who definitely doesnt ask me to choose between him and Wentworth Miller, but yet when he does, i say he's hotter and i mean it.Someone who i feel is not bothered about my dark circles, but worried about my sleepless nights.Someone, who i feel, swears secretly , to kill all those guys who have the capacity to make me laugh( yea, there should be some drama..cmon!!)..Someone who will walk the rain happily with me.Someone whose eyes will speak, he wants me everytime we are alone( note- i mean love not lust!!!)...Someone, who i feel was just staring at my eyes, when i was busy explaining him some economic theory. Someone, who will come and just plant a kiss on my forehead, when am all panicked, coz thats the time i really need it.Someone, who makes me go insane deciding on what to wear, when he first asks me out!, and still look with those amazing eyes which communicate, "you look gorgeous".Someone, who i feel has continuously listened to all nonsense i speak and when am done taps my head and says "you talk a lot, but i love it :)" ( fortunately or unfortunately,yea, i talk a lot :().Someone,who wipes the corner of my lips, when i mess it up while eating hot choc. fudge.Someone, who just makes me wink at him in the middle of a life and death seminar or class( provided we are together then). Someone, who chooses to help an old lady cross the road, rather than me, when we both stuck up, but still makes me feel wow!Someone, who lets me sleep on his chest, when i need a good night sleep.........Someone, who makes me say, "I think Ma will love him :)"
Sigh!!! so many parameters, isn't it?...Lol!, they aren't even half!!!
:-) well , they are just feelings, not characteristics ..and thats why i say " someone who makes me......"
And when i start feeling any of these, or all of these, I would indeed look up and say " I am in love :-)" and i know, someday, sometime it will.
Till then, as i say...waiting for the stars to align!:-)
Wherever you are, whoever you are, my unknown someone..tonnes of love awaits!! :)..
P.S- its late and i need to sleep.love def doesnt imply torture!!